Karunah : Kindness
In Sanskrit means kind. Kindness isnt only for others, it is also how you love yourself. Pema Chodron reminding us..."the most difficult times are the ones we give ourselves".
I finally had a few hours to test out one of the new lenses I got for Christmas. With the Nikon 85 F 3.5 in my hands, I set out to capture the orchids that prosper on our sideboard. And as I set up the oft familiar home set up, I felt that familiar fear-the stomach churn, the gross murky doubt thats been happening in my creative process. I am the first one to preach honoring the pause in creative process; you have to leave space for growth. That space can encompass a bit of fear. I felt gross setting up the tripod and flowers. I felt clumsy moving around in the nature light from the window....my feet felt heavy. Focusing on my breathing, it was steady and slow.
I'm convinced that darkness and fear are as much a part of creative process as elation and exhilaration. That gross murky feeling is the jumping in point. Fear is the threshold that we cross to get to our own process. It's the ultimate decision, the decision to be ourselves and not copy the status quo. Truly tuned into the process I feel that fear every time. Sometimes it's fleeting and small, sometimes it huge and overwhelming. Noticing and allowing it let's me move forward and create an image. The doubt, the murkiness, the clouds, sometimes linger throughout the process of creating--that acts as a motivator, a propellant of individuality. It's necessary.
Photography is about capturing essence, it's about feeling the small story that contains the emotional impact. I can set up a scene and dial in the perfect exposure, and thats fine. But I can also tune in and be present and be aware of the grace and movement that a subject has to offer. Being kind to yourself and allowing the process of moving beyond what you "see" into what you feel yields something new...something you "feel" and then relay to others. Those who are also tuned in will get it--something will resonate (normally a viewer cant put it into words, they just feel it). There's something stirring about connecting with others through an image. Photography is creating something and then standing together with someone in the mystery.
Stepping into creative process again and again; intentionally stepping across the threshold of doubt is a brave act. Moving with intuitive intention allows you to move lightly with grace. Start with chaos and murky churning stomach and move with kindness towards yourself.
mindfulnessmeditationphotographysumkovi photographycynthia perdigaomindful photographyintuitive photographyorchidsNikon85mmpersonal growthSumkovi, from
BREATHE, VISION AND VOICE BLOG 1/18/17